ugh....

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I have a problem.

I'm leaving for a workshop on Sunday, and am expected to have my music (2 solos, 2 ensemble pieces and some dialogue) memorized by then. Not only that, but even though the texts are in English, they're all Elizabethan and use some very arcane words and strange syntax. AND I need to be able to recite all the texts and tell what every word means alone and in context.

Sounds normal right? Sounds like someone with inordinate amounts of free time could have it all completely under control and feel great, right???

Nope.

I cannot find motivation for the life of me.

Don't know why.

I'm so frustrated with myself. I've been beating myself up (mentally) every day, all summer, but I haven't managed to get off my ass and do my work.

Today, for example, I rolled out of bed around 9:45. It's now 2pm and what have I done? Lolled about on the couch watching TV and browsing through Harry Potter to check on what they changed for the most recent movie.

Seriously.

I haven't learned my dialogue at all.
Neither have I spent any time on the ensembles.

ugh.

I really hate myself right now.